textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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