doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
