So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
