I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
