There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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