nut hugger
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
