I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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