i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
