I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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