oh god the rape fog is back!
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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