Dude my mom stole all your condoms
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
