Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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