if you like me you must not know who I am
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
