I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
