Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
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