This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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