Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
