just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
