Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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