he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
