FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
