I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
