I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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