another moral hangover. fuck.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
