Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
