Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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