in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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