Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Is it because I queefed?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
