You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
And then he peed in my hair
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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