Don't you send me to vm
You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
