I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
