So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
