i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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