I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
