ugly people sure do ruin things
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
