how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
