do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
