why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
