I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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