I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Randomize
