if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
