I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
