Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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