Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
