i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
