its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Be still, my beating vagina.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
