i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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