I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
