All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
