Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
