i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
