The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
You can't just leave with hair like that
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
